Why Dating Apps Make You Feel Bad
And some possible ways to make it a little better
Most of us want to fall in love. If there was such a thing as a universal desire, other than, you know, staying alive, it would be love. But the dating experience has started to shift very dramatically in the last little while. Meeting a partner used to be through social spaces like school or work, or through social connections like friends and family. Nowadays, a lot of dating has moved online for better or worse. For anyone who’s used online dating apps, I think we can all agree it’s generally for the worst. But why is this exactly?
Quantity Over Quality
The first reason is purely due to the numbers. When we met people through physical spaces like on university campus or at church, the number of people you could meet was fairly small. There would maybe be a couple of hundred of people at most, and not all of those people would be possible romantic connections. They would more likely fit other roles like friends, acquaintances, or mentors and other roles. This fits well with evolutionary evidence that our brains are evolved to handle about 150 people within our social group. When groups outgrow this limit, they start to feel more anonymous and less like someone you know.
